The selfie syndrome: Why teens use social media for validation and how parents can counteract it

Do you find yourself waiting to see how many “likes” or comments you get after posting a picture of yourself? Writer Carolyn Savage, a mom and contributor to Mamaonthefly.com, says, “As the scenario plays out daily, it makes us parents wonder: Why are our children turning to social media for validation?” Teen development specialist Dr. Robyn Silverman says it’s a way for young people to define who they are: “They crave positive feedback to help them see how their identity fits into their world. Social media offers an opportunity to garner immediate information. The problem is they are looking in a dangerous place.” Teens who post selfies can end up receiving negative feedback in a place where everyone can see, and this can even lead to cyber-bullying. Silverman’s advice to parents: “Social media is a virtual talking mirror that contains irrelevant voices. Parents should help teens pinpoint meaningful sources for validation. More importantly parents need to reinforce the idea that the most influential voice should come from within.” Savage tells her kids to ask themselves a few questions before publishing something for all to see. She reminds them not to post things that could embarrass themselves or anyone else, to avoid posting just to make themselves feel better about something, and to never post anything that could hurt another person. When it comes to kids using social media, Savage says, “It’s our job as parents to show them how to do so appropriately—and for the right reasons.”

Today, 10/15/13